I am the type of person who like freedom and flexibility, do whatever I like whenever I like. But I need to work to earn for a living. After my diploma, my working style was finished work at 5pm, had the computer switched off and headed home. I used to bring home some paper works (when being struck by the feeling of guilty) but never attempted to stress myself.
But due to a momentary lapse of concentration when looking for new employment after my bachelor courses, I accepted a job that forced me to take work home, agree to work late and worry about the business, which I am not happy with at all. Undeniable the benefits offered are good and I met my potential life partner here. Nevertheless, I have been very cranky till I can’t bear the crankiness myself. The culture here is “never ever think of taking up any responsibilities yourself” and boss likes people who presented themselves well (which means they can think far and knowledgeable, but I doubt so). Teamwork is always being emphasized and this created opportunity for those buggers to take advantage on this. People around are so fake. I guess this make them strong enough to survive. I do not have sense of belonging here. I do not have the motivation to go to work and while I reach the office, I already feel like going home. Life is even “greater” when performance period set up is around the corner. You will suddenly find yourself love working so much and other activities are seems like a waste of time. I refer this period as “physical+mental torturing period”. Mom won’t know WTF is performance period set up and she won’t understand why her daughter needs to work even during weekends.
I had a very bad day and my mood was like shit. I hate this kind of feeling. It makes me feel so stupid that I was pissed off by those stupid fellows. Even my loved one does not know how to deal with me while I am in this kind of mood. Life becomes extremely sad. At this moment, I am lost and helpless…
